Chronic Review - The Guy with the Eyes

by AK - July 23, 2013

Tuesday Afternoon Examination: The Chronic known as “The Guy with the Eyes”.

Back when I was the “promotions flunkie”, I was the kid who’s job it was to load up the van with Neil autograph cards, sharpies, prizes, registration boxes, banners, tables, chairs, etc etc. So I’ve seen and met all of the major WIOD chronic crew. “The Guy with the Eyes” was one of them.

Here’s how I’d describe him to a police sketch artist:

Massive head. Fred Gwynn-like. With a Fred Flintstonesque hairline, and a Joe Rose-ish roundness. Sitting on a wide but short neck. Always sporting a 5 O’clock shadow. Pale blue green eyes. Greasy messy black hair peppered with grey. Tall.. probably at least 6 feet tall. Paunchy but solid build. In high school probably played football, but now in his 40’s (then) was paunchy and overweight. Wearing what appeared to be a Red Cross hand me down hand me down t-shirt from the 70’s, 3 sizes too small. Tight shorts like a gym teacher would wear.

He was so unliked, and he knew it. He wouldn’t wait in line to meet Neil; he’d just skulk around and stand behind the line waiting for Neil to acknowledge him, even if caustically.

“Can I have your autograph, Neil” a young lady would ask him after waiting in line for 40 minutes. “Sure… don’t forget to get Boy Gary’s autograph too..that’s him over there” pointing at the Guy with the Eyes. TGWTE would half smile and yell something back as the entire crowd would turn and hatefully look towards him.

Nobody ever spoke to him, other than the other oddball weirdo chronics who stood in the background with him.

Only once or twice did he ever wait or approach Neil that I saw.. and both times I and someone else from the station would stand between he and Neil. He was so creepy-homeless-psycho looking that you couldn’t take any chances.

One thing he ALWAYS did do? Go for the free food at any remote.

I don’t know how or why the animosity started.. or even why he was really called ‘The Guy with the Eyes”.. Jorge would have to tell that story.

Attached is what I remember him looking like… although the t-shirt is way too big.

Still to Come: the “Fanny Pack Guy” and Al Rogers

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