Thursday Midday Story: Chronic Review - Alfred “Al” Rogers

Many of you’ve seen him in here.. I have him blocked, (so I won’t be able to see any of his responses).. but I recommend most of you do the same.

See, unlike The Guy With The Eyes (TGWTE) or the Fanny Pack Guy (TFPG), no one really understood his modus operandi until it was far too late.

With TGWTE, you knew he was angry, perturbed, semi-hostile, and loved every minute of it from the moment you saw him. And FPG was what he was.. just a happy go lucky Neil fanatic.

But with Al, … Al’s an entirely different sort of douchebag altogether.

“Al’s an entirely different sort of douchebag”

Thanks.

Al started showing up at Neil events before I even started probably. And so when I get there, I just saw him as some Neilie. And struck up a few conversations along the way. He SEEMED normal.. except for that shock of dark curly hair and that 70’s “porn star” mustache.

But he was, unlike lot of the chronics, able to hold down a conversation, ask questions, provide answers to questions you asked.. like a normal human being.

I started to notice he was showing up at events more and more… Dade, Broward, Palm Beach… didn’t matter. Hell, even Fat Rich did that. Until I noticed one day as I was packing the van to leave that he didn’t get into his car… he climbed onto a scooter. And not a pimped out one.. like a moped almost.

And it struck me as REALLY odd that this guy would not only travel across multiple counties in order to stand around for 2 hours at a Neil appearance, but that he must have spent at LEAST that amount of time traveling to GET THERE and go home. I mean, who has 5 hours to dedicate to watching a local radio personality sit at a table and sign things and drink Snapple?

I was getting PAID for it and I barely had enough time. But, as usual, I digress… He never showed up with anyone. We just all assumed he was a really lonely sad guy, so down on his luck he either couldn’t afford a car, or gas, or had some kind of legal troubles that prevented him from owning a car.

Once Randi started, and I moved out of the promotions gig into her producer’s chair, things got a little more ramped up and strange. He started showing up at the Randi events too. He’d show up and stand next to the table where Randi sat, and not leave… like he was part of the crew, talking to people like he was somehow involved. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he offered people his autograph. And he started calling her show. And often, because he’d be one of the 2 callers to the show, I’d put him on the air. They seemed to hit it off…he was weird, and loved Randi, and Randi loved Randi, and liked weird people…so it just fit. Besides… with only her mom on the other line, killing 5 minutes of airtime with Al was as good a way to do it as any.

But then…Al would show up at places that weren’t even public appearances. Like Randi would say offhandedly that she and Jim were eating dinner at their regular hole-in-the-wall pizza shack around the corner from their house, and god-damn if Al didn’t show up. Or Randi would say “I’m going bowling with my the lovely friend (whateverhername was) at Don Carter”, and sure as scooter Al would show up. It was like he not only thought he was part of her show, he thought he was part of her inner circle.

I’ve heard rumor that Randi filed a restraining order, but I don’t know anything about that. I know she had to file several at different points, but I don’t know if Al was one of them.

What I do know is that no matter where Neil or Randi went, you could always count on hearing the put-put-put of a scooter pulling up at Specs, or Pizza Loft, or Peaches, or Barnes and Noble or whatever. He was ALWAYS there.

And for those of you who haven’t blocked him yet, you’ll notice he still is.

Here’s what I remember him looking like: (photo missing)